i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
