capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
