i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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