We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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