I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
