Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
whose parrot is this?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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