i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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