in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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