I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
