yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
