Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
