UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
