jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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