Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
