I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
