i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I puked a lego.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
