fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't think brook has ever known best
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
