apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
