4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
