porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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