He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
