i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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