I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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