You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
