i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
