i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
