Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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