i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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