just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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