i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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