Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize