she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
