I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
