Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
