my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
