I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize