Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
