yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
