I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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