I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize