i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
