took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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