dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
