I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize