She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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