He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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