he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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