New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
