If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
