that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
