Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
pray to the hookup gods
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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