I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
