Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
